Collapse the Waveform

no more haters

The smell of the sea rose up from the bay and floated out to the park. Alli sat on a bench facing the water. Down the hill, lay a field and in the distance, the boardwalk. Alli could hear the carnival games: whack-a-mole, dunk tank, test your strength.

Clouds gathered for the afternoon thunderstorm. Some pigeons walked around nearby. They inspected a bag of popcorn dropped by one of the teenagers, who had recently passed by, carrying a giant beach towel and an umbrella.

The broad leaves of the trees swayed with the wind. The scent of the grass mingled with that of the water, teeming and receding, far out there, on the horizon.

Alli checked her watch. She was supposed to meet Nealy here today. She slapped a mosquito buzzing near the back of her neck. The bench was in the shade, but the temperature was still rising.

A kid went by on roller-skates, walking a platoon of dogs. The old man with the ice cream cart headed down to the shore. People lay on blankets, sunning, staring at the sky, reading paperback novels. Someone in a beret stopped by the water fountain, checked his phone and blanched.

Alli got up and walked down the path, lined with a canopy of trees. Their leaves fanned out, creating oscillating shadows. A folk band practiced off to the side, on a portable stage. She walked under one of the park’s scenic bridges, the air nice and cool, for a few seconds. A summer science class gathered around a hot dog stand.

Outside the park, and on the street, stood a Sephora and a Chinese food restaurant. Alli headed to Cafe Nero and ordered an espresso. She watched the cars stop and go outside the window. The cumulus formation was nearer now. Even inside, Alli could feel the air tensing up, despite the summer sunshine. Couples strolled by, arm-in-arm, at eye-level.

A bolt of electricity ran through Alli – there was Nealy – together, with another woman, a woman in a print dress, laughing about an unheard joke.

“If I was with someone, how would you feel?”

Alli nearly knocked over the cup and the saucer. She looked around and Nealy was standing right beside her. She looked back at the street – but the look-alike and her mate had already turned the corner.

“I thought I would find you here,” Nealy said, sitting down.

“It was too hot,” Alli said.

“You don’t spend too much time outdoors.”

Alli shook her head, “How was Shanghai?” On the coffeehouse speakers, one of Elvis’s Hawaii songs came on.

“Hot. Like here. Healthy food though.”

“Lots of good IPOs?”

“Could have been better,” Nealy said, “But fewer shell companies.” The waiter brought Nealy her coffee.

“Are you going to stay here now?”

“I will probably go back to San Francisco, but will still divide my time between there, and New York.”

They watched the lights turn from green to red, ‘Walk’ icon to ‘Don’t Walk’ icon.

“Will you stay in New York?” Nealy asked.

“For the time being,” Alli said. Her second coffee arrived.

“Where will you go next?” Nealy asked, looking at her.

“I haven’t thought that far,” Alli looked out the glass. The clouds hovered over the skyscrapers. It had begun to drizzle.

The rain started, slowly at first, but then began to pummel the sidewalk. Pedestrians ran, covering their heads with newspapers. The pale orange clouds sunk lower, heavy in the downpour.

The two of them sat there, watching the thunderstorm, listening to the low hiss of the espresso machine.

magic pool

Songs

“You Should Close the Door” – Craft Spells

“Love Somebody Else” – Maceo Plex & Jon DaSilva, feat. Joi Cardwell

Violin Concerto in E minor, Op. 64: 02 Andante – Mendelssohn

Gravitational Sounds

Gym Leader Agatha

Alli walked barefoot by the sea. The sand was cold in the morning air. The waves were rolling back and forth, crossing oceans to get here. Alli turned and faced the east; the sun looked like it was rising out of the water. The golden rays hit the rocks, the forgotten shrubbery, shrewn around, and the window panes of the beach house behind her.

Constant undulations. Water that came halfway across the world, to this shore, hidden in some corner of the Keys, a silent island chain. Alli watched a wave bring in some limp plants.

Sitting down on the beach, Alli picked up handfuls of sand and let them run through her fingers.

“What would you have me do?!” Alli had yelled, months ago.

“Offer me a future!” Jan had yelled back, the night they had broken up.

And Alli had moved up north with Dallas, the debonair esper of Pennsylvania, self-assured, confident, and devastatingly beautiful.

“I would have given the world for you,” Alli had said.

“But you didn’t,” Jan had replied.

“You didn’t, and you won’t,” the words resonated from that time, ping ponging off old memories. The perennial swirl of New York and Florida.

“You don’t have to give up on me,” Alli had said, lying on the couch. Dallas held a rag full of ice up to her forehead.

“That’s the fever talking,” Dallas had responded. Alli had been working through some bug she had caught in Melbourne. “It must have been the crayfish in your bibimbap,” Dallas said.

They had both gone to several restaurants, including the offending Asian fusion joint. Dallas had said she was going to look at various Okinawan karate dojos, to see if she could buy one. But the premise had been running a little thin, even then. As Alli would soon see, Melbourne was only a foreshadowing.

“I want to be there for you,” Alli had mumbled from the couch. Dallas had dabbed away some sweat with a handkerchief, “You’re here for me, right now.”

The New York loft was receding from view. “Tell me I am right for you,” Alli had said, hovering in the darkness.

The spring buds were falling to the earth and the trees were unfurling their newborn leaves. “You’re not giving yourself any room to maneuver,” Nealy had said.

They were sitting in the park during the afternoon; the sun was gaining strength and beating down on them and the other chess players.

“I had a bad start,” Alli laughed.

“Yes, that was a horrible opening,” Nealy had said, “What were you thinking moving your knight way over there?”

“I was going to bring it in and position it in between your queen and your bishop. A knight fork.”

“An ambitious plan, in the best of times,” Nealy sighed, taking another one of Ally’s pawns, “Checkmate.”

“Tell me I am the one for you,” Alli had said, standing in between worlds.

“If I write you out of the will, what will you feel about that?” Jan had asked, turning around in her chair.

“Nothing,” Alli had sneered. When she left, she left for good, closing the screen door, walking out into the night, the endless crashing of waves and the peerless moon.

On the beach, in the increasingly hot morning, Alli let another handful of sand run through her fingers. “Are you going to do that all day?” a voice behind her said.

Alli spun around, still sitting on the surf; Nealy stood behind her, surrounded by the tall beach grass, “Are you going to come in for some crêpes, or what?”

Somewhere in the bottomless pit of space, echoed a thought, reaching back across time, splitting into pieces, stretching the distance traveled, in a second, by a photon careening at the speed of light: “Tell me I’m your one and only.”

not afraid of the darkness

Songs:

1) slosylove:

You and I

2) Vanilla:

Rise

Keep On

3) コンシャスTHOUGHTS:

True Love

Forget about Me

4) Sade – “Nothing Can Come Between Us”

5) Michael McDonald – “I Keep Forgettin’ (Every Time You’re Near)”