Floating Signifier

not here

Ran walked hunched over, under her umbrella – her black leather shoes, and the feet of her gray slacks, getting wet. She turned into Zibetto, and found a seat facing the window.

She got the cappuccino, blond roast, and a prosciutto panini. Ran opened a nearby newspaper to read. The music in the espresso bar was piping hot Bossa nova jazz, redolent of a faraway, tropical land.

Alli met her there, bustling through the door, in a black pea coat, hydroplaning across the floor. She ordered a macchiato and sat down next to Ran. They sometimes grabbed lunch together there, when they could.

Steam rose from her beverage, misting Alli’s glasses, as she took a sip, “Not to talk about exes, but Kaan said she glimpsed Dallas, at the Grand Hyatt, the other day. She must be back from Thailand. I told you about Dallas, didn’t I?”

Ran folded the paper, “Maybe you did, long ago. Remind me again of who she is?”

“She was an old girlfriend of mine. We went to Fiji together, once. Dallas went to Australia to do a semester of graduate research and I waited for her. She came back, but I never heard from her. She was living with Kaan’s former girlfriend Aspen, by the time I found out she was back in the states.”

“I see. That’s horrible!” Ran turned on the stool to face her.

“Dallas was the one who left Kaan to pick up the pieces. I moved on too. Kaan is still not happy about what happened. Aspen never came back.”

“Right,” Ran said, “Who does something like that?”

Ran looked at Alli with concern. She then turned back to the window, the street motley and the view diffracted through hundreds of raindrops. Ran’s stomach flip-flopped, as she took a sip of her Sumatran coffee.

Unperturbed, Alli also looked out the window, before tapping a bleating notification on her phone. “I got to get back to the office; I have to get on a conference call. Our accounting department rep had a fall and can’t come back after lunch.”

“Yes, no problem,” Ran held her hand and Alli squeezed her shoulder. She left a tenner for the meal and was whisked out the door, with the same speed, with which she had entered.

The streets hadn’t cleared, even in the rain. Pizza deliverers for Uber Eats rode by, with pies piled high and lashed down on the backs of their bikes. A bus knelt into the curb and disgorged itself of an afternoon rush hour load of passengers.

Behind the window pane, Ran thought of the blond at the bar, Was that Dallas? Did I meet the one who hurt Alli? And Kaan?

Another customer entered, raindrops rolling off a beige wool coat. The gust that followed in his wake threw the ears of her newspaper in disarray. Disconcerted, Ran paid for the food and stepped outside, under the awning. Thin streams of water poured down in front of her. Could that really be Dallas?

She stepped out into the downpour and hailed a taxi, trying to forget about what she had just heard.

sumatran coffee

Dynamic Sky

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Ran sat at the bar, in a lounge suspended in a glass box, high above Grand Central and the teeming wet streets below. It was raining in New York City. She nursed a glass of bitters and picked at some lint on her cobalt blazer.

A woman walked by and sat down, one seat away from her. Ran was startled to notice that it was the same blond woman from the town car, a few nights ago. The woman – What was her name? Dallas? – recognized Ran, and waved, coming closer, much to Ran’s chagrin.

She was wearing a knee-length, white dress, with a bright, primary color paint splatter print, and red pumps. “Funny finding you here,” Dallas said, balancing her clutch and her drink, a martini.

“I would say the same to you,” Ran said, still surprised.

“What do you do for a living?” Dallas said.

“Well, I used to run a surf shop, but my girlfriend got me a marketing job, here in the city,” Ran replied.

“A surf shop, huh?” Dallas stirred her drink, with the olive’s toothpick, “That’s interesting.”

“It was a small outfit,” Ran said, “I love to surf. It was just something I did after college.”

“So, you are a transplant,” Dallas said, “What’s your girlfriend like?”

Ran brightened, “She’s really kind. We met in the Caribbean.”

“That’s something; I just got back from the tropics. Thailand.” Dallas mused.

Ran looked at her, shocked, “Thailand? That’s cool. I’ve never been to Southeast Asia.”

Dallas returned her gaze, “You’d love it: green curry, papaya salads, a booming nightlife.”

Ran shrugged, “Maybe someday. Do you have a girlfriend?”

Had a girlfriend,” Dallas said, looking back at her drink, “She came back to the states before me.”

“I’m sorry,” Ran said, also deflating, “Were you guys living there?”

“Yes,” Dallas responded, “I wanted to continue my research, while still living in that part of the world. I had lived in Australia before. But some relationships can’t take being uprooted and moved to the other side of the world.”

“I guess not,” Ran also looked ahead of her. The congestion was still heavy on the slick streets. The downpour was only getting worse; someone’s umbrella was blown inside-out.

Dallas glanced at Ran again, “If you closed down a business for this woman, even a small one, it must mean she’s important to you, right?”

“I would say so!” Ran took a sip. She mellowed, “Hopefully you can find the one you’re looking for.”

Dallas sighed, “I already did; I threw her away.”

The first thunder of spring echoed across the skyline. Minuscule rivers ran along the curb and poured into the sewers.

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