Survivor 37: Jacketgate

why i love survivorThe Post-Natalie Game

How to Ruin Eggs and #Jacketgate: Natalie had a master’s degree in Un-Graciousness and was so egotistical (egg-o-tistical? Leggo my Eggo?), that she checked the block for the Disney villain of the season. I did love the drama Queen Napalm Natalie produced and I wonder who or what the daily complaint log on the island is going to revolve around now.

Don’t boil the eggs and don’t eat them all at once. The yolks will turn gray – and they spoil at the wrong temperature – buried under the sand, like baby turtles. We’ll all wait while Natalie returns Angelina’s jacket.

Forget David and Goliath – tons of Samsons are going down this season. I am for Mike, the Power Broker. If Christian can’t make it, Mike White can win it for the Goliath’s side. On to the Merge!

Don’t put your eggs all in one jacket.

Survivor Rankings, post-Episode 5:

  1.  Ultimate Sole Survivor: Christian
    a. The Know-It-All
  2. Alison
    a. Erin Brockovich
  3. Dan
    a. Seduce and Destroy

    1. Found an Idol: 2 Points
    2. Found an Idol: 2 Points
  4. Cowboy Carl
    a. True Grit

    1. Found an Idol Nullifier: 2 Points
  5. Jeremy Crawford
    a. Social Butterfly

    1. Got Voted Out: – 5 Points
    2. Found an Idol: 2 Points
  6. Angelina
    a. Meredith Grey
  7. Alec
    a. Surfer Dude
  8. Natalie
    a. The Wise Older Woman

    1. Got Voted Out: – 5 Points
  9. Elizabeth Olsen
    a. Mommy Dearest
  10. Natalia
    a. The Oh-No You Didn’t

    1. Got Voted Out: – 5 Points

dang, Basic

Bottom Half

  1. “Davie”
    a. Ponyboy (“The Outsiders”)

    1. Found an Idol: 2 Points
  2. Pat
    a. The Heisenberg
    MEDEVAC: -3 Points
  3. Nick Wilson
    a. The Good Ole Boy

    1. Found his slingshot
  4. The Mayor of Slamtown
    a. The (Pseudo) Specialist
  5. Mike White
    a. Mr. Miyagi
  6. Kara Kay
    a. The Siren
  7. Gabby
    a. Chelsea Handler
  8. Lyrsa (purple hair)
    a. Lady Gaga
  9. Jessica
    a. Little Red Riding Hood
    First Voted Out of the Season: -15 Points

    1. Got Voted Out: – 5 Points
  10. First-One Out: Bi
    b. GI Jane

    1. Quitting Voluntarily: -10 Points

Let 'Em Crash

 

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