Welcome to Survivor

hott. can't wait

20. Natalia – industrial engineer; hot-head, bossy
The Oh-No You Didn’t – will go off

19. Angelina – Stanford, Masters from Yale, in management, not finance; high maintenance

Meredith Grey – young, professional intense woman, overthinks, gets a blind-slide

18. Cowboy Carl – the truck driver
True Grit – older athletic or military male; tough guy, you see what you get

17. Lyrsa Torres – afraid of the ocean and reptiles, is LGBT (cool), kick-boxes, practical
Lady Gaga – female not like the others, flaky, New-Agey (Kaitlyn, Rockstar), flip

16. The Mayor of Slamtown – is smart, funny and self-aware; mature, articulate
The (Pseudo) Specialist – middle-aged guy who loves himself and the good old days

15. “Davie” – “blerd,” wants to create “chaos,” is not as good as Russell Hantz
Pony Boy – young male outside of the mainstream, sensitive, aware, not a bro

14. Natalie – Publishing CEO (Merge cusp), very tough; needs to talk more about the game
The Wise Older Woman – can see through all of your nonsense; no hugs

13. Hot Cop Daniel – a dad, looks up to his step-dad (another merge boot); no killer instinct
Seduce and Destroy – most diverse type (could be smart, mean or naive); salesman

12) Jeremy – 2nd jury member, observant, intuitively understands people, analyzes minds
Social Butterfly – vivacious, bonds with both genders, outgoing, social, savvy

11) Kara Kay – used a small curved vanity mirror to start a fire; pleasant
The Siren – flirtation and charm are their game, seen as a threat (Parvati)

10) Jessica – grew up watching the game, worried about her age, 4th jury member
Little Red Riding Hood – young, sweet student; carried to the end by a strategist

9) Mike White – Jimmy Johnson part II; he’s keeping expectations low, dark horse??
Mr. Miyagi – older male player, wise, dad of the tribe, reliable season narrator

8) Gabby – open, vulnerable, emotional, smart, trustworthy; beware the quiet ones
Chelsea Handler – witty, cute, anxious, neurotic; nerd bait, ‘manic pixie girl’

7) The Killer Bi – new to Survivor, has no idea how to play the game; walled-off
GI Jane – super athletic female challenge beast, struggles socially

6) Alison – first one to the finale, doctor; just made chief resident but very laid-back (!)
Erin Brockovich – everyday kind of woman, athletic, ‘normal’ job, doesn’t play hard

5) Nick – Top Five, RHAP patron, not Big Tom, ‘Anyone but me,’ has a good shot at winning

The Good Ole Boy

4) Pat – Top Four, Robbed Goddess, dragged to the end if he makes the merge; very rigid
The Heisenberg – Russell Hantz, Jonny Fairplay, high energy, rough around the edges

3) Alec – Final Three, charming, bartender, uses ‘like’ a ton, emotional intelligence, insightful
Surfer Dude – easy-going, calls everyone ‘bro,’ keeps their closest allies; Tyson, Aras

2) Christian – Runner-Up, witty, doesn’t actually do birding, very smart, took coded notes
The Know-It-All – younger, male, snarky, super-fan, embodies the type, kinda nervous

1) Elizabeth – The Winner, understands and respects the game, well-rounded, very subtle
Mommy Dearest – older woman who has kids; Tina

The Surfer Dude has the highest win rate (just look at Tyler, in #BB20; Fabio)
– Solid Alliances: Mommy Dearest, Mr. Miyagi, Good Ole Boy (the Mr. Miyagi never wins; take him as the goat)

he's back

Preliminary Survivor Rankings:

  1. Ultimate Sole Survivor: Christian (the real Cochran)
  2. Alison – the doctor, thumbs up
  3. Dan – SWAT cop, cool Dad [The First Lady of Podcast’s Choice]
  4. Carl – a truck driver, thumbs up; makes jury [Rob’s Choice]
  5. Jeremy Crawford – SC, lawyer, passed the bar in 4 states
  6. Angelina – Stanford, Yale, finance, travel; Parvati overtones?
  7. Alec – the bartender
  8. Natalie – Publishing CEO
  9. Elizabeth Olsen – no, #Birding
  10. Natalia – industrial engineer, into fitness; will be good at challenges
  11. “Davie,” – five Twitter accounts, stuck on DMs, thumbs down
  12. Pat (tattoos, likes the Jets) – a rough version of Rupert; makes the merge, but not jury
  13. Nick Wilson (Kentucky) – will get himself a slingshot, similar to JT; pre-merge
  14. The Mayor of Slamtown – I heard of him in third grade; merge boot
  15. Mike White – School of Rock, bad body shot, kind of flip; will make it to the swap
  16. Kara Kay – doesn’t really pop
  17. Gabby – flakes out in the rain
  18. Lyrsa (purple hair) – definitely pre-jury and pre-merge
  19. Jessica – may also go down in the rain, 50/50
  20. First-One Out: Bi

 

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